So please consider this post as my best attempt to rebuild our faith in our upcoming marriage. Our one and only, until death do us part. Not that I ever had any doubts in building the future together with him, no. But.. oh well, you get the point.
Maybe I'm just suddenly in the cheesy mood for bragging about my love story, anyway.
The one thing that I kept bumping onto since we announced our engagement was how easy it was for other people to recall me being with my old boyfriends, almost like nobody ever heard of F, the guy that I will marry. That was so funny. Because I have always acknowledged F, and attracted to his charms, although never in my sane mind I ever thought about being a couple with him.
|F-me-his sister-my brother.|
So, from 2006 until 2008 (the year he graduated), we stayed as good friends to each other. Our chats were mostly meaningless where we laughed and mocked more than talked. We met far less often after he graduated, but when we did meet, it was as if we still meet each other on a daily basis.
Oh, there was one time he acted as a guitarist-substitute for my band.
|Nothing, really, I might just be too in love with the fact that I was once a part of a band :p|
After that night, he occasionally popped out on my Y!M window to joke about the people he thought I should date, asking about concerts, and other things. One day, when I was home on Sunday, after hours of cycling around with my friends, he popped out on my Y!M again, only this time, he talked about something serious. This had never happened before. He wanted to consult about his relationship.
Apparently, after one long session of serious talking, I found many things about him I never knew before. Turned out, that was how shallow our years of friendship had always been. It was always about the fun sides of each of us. I never knew it was possible for him to be vulnerable over a romantic matter, and he never knew that relationship was always a subject on which I never kid myself.
Shortly after that talk, his relationship ended and yes, he was terribly heartbroken. We talked on a daily basis as friends. But this time, our topics often shifted on to serious matters. Much more serious than those we ever had before. We would stay up until the sun rose just to 'interview' each other regarding relationships, future, and everything.
From then on, it went smoothly. We decided to be in a relationship despite the Jakarta-Bandung distance (which sucks), my insecurities, his not-so-long-ago break up, the awkwardness between me-him-my brother-his sister, how surprising it must have been for our Apres! friends and maybe even our parents, and how odd it must seem because his band mate was already in a serious relationship with my band mate for years (yes, the world is that small for us) (and they got married last year, FYI).
Many things happened since the day we started our relationship, but even from day one I could tell that I had nothing to worry about. He is the kind of person that anyone can trust and he never judges anyone. He makes me feel safe and fulfilled, and he actually feels like a right mixture between 'the guy I want' and 'the guy I actually need'. I know how cheesy I sound right now, but no, I cannot find any better ways to describe this.
It would be an exaggerated lie if I say that I have nothing to complain about him, of course there are. There are little annoying things to huge overwhelming matters that will stand between us and eternal happiness. We will have arguments, fights, excruciating silences. But I don't know, for the last couple of years, the world had turned into a much better place for me.
For the first time in my life, I am sure that my happiness matters to another person and for the first time in my life I want, so badly, to play a significant role in another person's happiness.
We have so much ahead of us. For a start, we still have 10 more days to be filled with wrongdoings and ugly fights. To talk about 'forever' is still too early. But at least for now, I am happy.
Wish us luck :)